21 Jan: Back from a very, very sad funeral. During the week, I had been asked to provide suggestions for hymns which were all selected, and to do the Old Testament and Psalm readings. Siobhan, Mandi's elder sister, had selected lovely pieces, and despite my practicing during the week, I knew that on the day I would have a tremble in my voice. The Wisdom writers and Psalmsters knew how to grab an audience. Additionally, as this was turning into the George Show, I was asked to read the Eulogy, which was a lovely thing to be asked. We flew up on Thursday evening and were too late for dinner in the hotel so we went to bed, but were up at 7am for a very early breakfast! The hotel had a few surprises for us, as Ceatag Bhig, Brenda DP and Domhnall Iain from Barra were staying. We went to the church at 10:20 and there were already people there. As the church filled up, Chris (godson) came in searching for me as they wanted me to assist in carrying Mandi on her last journey. What an honour. We six brought her in to be with her friends and family for the last time to "Amazing Grace". The lovely new priest was in his Gaudete Sunday Rose robes for Mass, as Mandi's favourite colour was pink. What a lovely thought. My readings passed off, the singing was fine, the priest gave a very lovely, and in places intense, and on others heartwarming sermon, my eulogy went well until the last line, and then it was the removal. Again we six stepped up to the mark and to "I Watched the Sunrise" and to remove Mandi. This last hymn is one I had chosen as it NEVER fails to have a congregation in tears. The words are simple and strong. Sadly I had to brave it out and not sing, and more importantly, not allow myself to remember the times in recent years where I have sung this. Catching Ceatag Bhig's eye on the way out was devastating. It was only at this point that I realised just how busy a funeral it was. Not only was every pew taken, they were crushed in, and at the back, crushed standing room only. What a tribute. As the priest in his very lovely instructions to the congregation had told everyone to leave the family alone, they all came out of the Vestry exit and were at the hearse at the same time as we bearers were. Then we took Veronica and Mary Pat MacLean from Barra to the graveyard, way out in the countryside. Peaceful, tree-filled - a nice place to rest. I had the double honour of being Second Cord after Mandi's husband Paul, and as we all did our Final Duty and Corporal Act of Mercy at the graveside, that is where I lost it. Thankfully my old man tears are silent and without heart-wrenching sobs, they just run, run, run. Flowers were strewn and then the most wonderful thing: the priest asked those from the Isle of Barra to come forward, and they all scattered some of the Sands of Vatersay in the grave. So many Barraichs, old and young, paying their respects. I had said to Anthony earlier, "There are people here for the family, some for Mandi and then others here because it is 'just right' ". My Castlebay old friends had traveled the length of South Uist, Skye and across the mainland to be there. What good manners. Then back to the hotel we had spent the night in, for catching up and talking, and finally our plane home.

What a very, very sad day.

19 Jan: Sadly since my last update it has been nothing but sad and a little bit bad news. First the sad bits.

My lovely young cousin, Mandi, whose great, happy wedding we attended in December, got worse and worse in hospital, and left us all behind on Thursday 12th Jan. She was 22. She was surrounded in hospital with those who love her most, holding her daddy's hand. Very, very fitting. I flew up next day to pay my respects, and knowing full well that there was no teapot in that house, I had my new one in my hand luggage. I got there at 10am and through the veil of tears and hugs, just sat and talked all day, with the rest of the children popping in from time to time. Ross' brother, PaulB was there too and it was nice to see him after 29 years. Although the end was expected, it is never right that a parent should have to bury a child of any age and just being there with them in their abject grief, helping and suggesting where I could (having far to vast experience of these things myself) and remembering Mandi. Strangely, although Mandi had long ago moved from the house, the absence of her presence was noticeable. Paul, Ross and Catriona had lots to do, but much of the dreadfully sad work had been done. I had written a very commiserative letter to Paul, but he would not get that until the Saturday, as Ross and Cat would not get their card until that day either. They are all devastated. I returned to London on Friday night, very late. Saturday I was supposed to be in the Midlands, but train problems in the morning out of Marylebone put paid to that. Sunday was Adam's Extra Birthday which was nice to attend and see old faces once again. During the week, the little bit of bad news is that I have to go to have my lumpy bit placed under the knife. My surgeon explained that whatever it is will need to be genetically tested, hence they would go in and grab some of it, either from my neck (no thank-you) or lift up my ear and go in that way. I have preferred this method as it will give me a nice pirate scar, and only add to the "He's had a facelift" stories. In the hospital on 02 Feb for a day and will get the results a fortnight later, once they have given the Alien time to grow. I wonder what it is?

09 Jan: Such a week it was! Quite busy at work updating and creating “How To…” documents, covering the more difficult parts of my company’s software and workflow solutions – GET ME clever clogs! Mid-week we booked a long weekend in Sitges, coinciding with Adam’s visit there in May. That is something to look forward to! This week was a strange one as it measured three years since Mary was found in the River Kelvin, at Torrance Bridge. I still have questions, never to be answered of course, but that does not make them any less important to me. Was there something wrong and something I could have helped her resolve? Was she worried that her transplant had been working successfully for more years than it was supposed to? Was she lonely and afraid of something? Questions, QUESTIONS, questions. Thankfully, being a good Roman, I know that when my own time comes, I will get all the answers and more to this great puzzle. For those people with Faith, this is such a comfort.

Then all of a sudden it was the weekend. We had DavidJ from the Midlands staying with us as he was at a meeting on Saturday in Hoxton. I was up at the crack of dawn to get breakfast things fresh from Tesco and went to meet him at Euston at 9am. After some catching up and food, David headed off and we spent the rest of the day doing very little indeed. Anthony did manage to get some gardening in, and I will have to wait until there is daylight to check up on his work. Sunday, off to mass at Ely Place for 9am and a walk about Smithfield. Then home for a late breakfast and then a walk through the City, over the Millennium Bridge and down to Waterloo. It was a crisp but dry day and we returned home all refreshed. I walked David back to Euston to catch his train home. What a lovely weekend it was, and it is nice to always keep the door of hospitality open! Things in Bonnie Scotland are not going well, with Mandi now struggling to get through the chemotherapy. She is brave, but my real concern is for the rest of them, all rallying around but unable to help her with her fight. It must be very frustrating, and being here in London all we can do is light candles, say our prayers and send rude text messages!

02 Jan: It seems like only yesterday when we were all doing our best to prepare and recover from 2000! Such a lot has happened since then, and at least the Millennium Bug did not get us then! Christmas and New Year celebrations took place in mild weather, which is such a shame for the under fives looking forward to a snowy end and start to the year! However us oldies were able to pass the time by NOT slipping and sliding in slush like so many Christmases in the past! I guess I am getting older indeed! I even have started saying "I am nearly 50" a little too often for my liking! After two early days starting at work it was time to prepare for Hogmanay, but as Anthony's cough was not improving, it was all but certain he would be housebound for the Bells this year. Limited sympathy from me of course, but at least he is on the mend! Adam came over in plenty of time for us to have a drink and head SOTR, but we could not get a cab willing to cross any bridges, so for the second time on 2011, Adam had to take the Tube! From London Bridge we chatted along Southwark Street, met MarkA outside Pulse and were ushered through into the venue. I have not been there before and it is very impressive indeed. HUGE-HUGE-HUGE! He gave us a guided tour, visited the office where we got some welcome drinks vouchers and then waited for Serge to arrive with Fabrice whom I have not met before. Then dancing, drinking and excitement of the countdown to 2012! By 11:20 the place was rammed, with quite a few princesses I have to say but everyone in the right frame of mind for a new year beginning! ChristianM was on finest form dj-ing on the platform, we danced, wandered about, danced some more and at 2:30 it was time for me to head home, leaving the youngsters behind! As the Tube was running for free all night, I took advantage of saving forty pounds and walked to London Bridge where it was packed! A couple of clickable images are here. I have to say I may have been the worst of all the passengers - sweating from the dancing and my too-warm jacket! Straight into the shower at home and then bed. I slept through our early morning Adam, Elliott etc guests who did not have to try to hard to bend Anthony's arm and make him come out with them midday! It was 15:30 when I woke, I think form the best sleep I have had in ages! Once again I forgot to tell Adam about his Not-Christmas Gift, but Anthony did that and we are all excited about seeing Elkie Brooks in February. I hope and expect she will sing "Lilac Wine" which is my favourite. Tomorrow, Tuesday, back to work, but Ross and Godson Chris are here for the Spurs game so that will be nice and then it is a slippery slope to the weekend again!

Happy New Year to you all!